The Threads That Bind Us

When I went to the Deepak Chopra event in Penticton in the fall, I was struck by this story, and it really stuck with me:

He said that one of the things that he is involved with is a project called "Sages and Scientists," where philosophers, spiritualists and religious leaders get together with scientists of a variety of disciplines and discuss life, the universe and everything. He said that when the Dalai Lama came to visit, they were delighted to tell him that they had discovered the secrets of what causes stress. The Dalai Lama then pointed out that everyone dwells on the negative all the time, and that it would be of much greater value in the world if they were to discover the secrets of what causes happiness.

Well, they took this under advisement, and the next time they encountered the Dalai Lama, they told him that they had found it.

"Oh, really?" said His Holiness with a raised eyebrow.

So what they said was that happiness can be directly corrolated to a formula, which was invented by a man named Martin Seligman. And the formula is this:

(S)et point + (C)onditions of living + (V)oluntary choices = (H)appiness

Seems pretty straightforward, doesn't it? But what is most interesting is the percentages that each one of these factors occupies.

Your Set Point (S) represents the perspective that you begin with. In simplest terms, are you an optimist or a pessimist? Is the glass half full, or half empty? Or as Deepak Chopra puts it, "do you see problems, or do you see opportunities?" We learn this perspective from our upbringing. If our parents are negative people, always looking on the bad side, always talking about the worst case scenario, expecting ill fortune and getting it, then so do we. Our Set Point makes up 50% of our Happiness (S=50%).

This sounds like bad news! Are we doomed to always be negative if our parents are negative people? The answer is NO. There are two ways in which you can actively change your Set Point.

The first is Cognitive Therapy. Change your thoughts, change your expectations and your actions and emotions will follow. People who have been in Anger Management classes or therapy for Addictions or Neuroses know all about this, but it is easy enough to do it on our own. Every time you think something negative, examine that belief and ask yourself why it is that you have it! For instance, you may have picked up the belief somewhere that people who are wealthy are jerks. This could be blocking you from prosperity, because on some level, you don't want to be a jerk! Why would you have this belief? For me, it was a belief that my parents passed on to me. It, of course, does not necessarily hold true. Another thing you can do is practice the art of affirmation. You need to understand that your subconscious does not understand negatives or sarcasm. So if your friend repeatedly tells you, "You're such a dumb blonde!" for example, even if you know they are joking, it will begin to have an effect on you and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you say, "I am not stupid," then your brain will not hear the "not". Say instead, "I am smart!" It will become a self-fulfilling prophecy too.

I know this is possible because I learned to be very negative from my parents growing up; but I like to joke that I spent my twenties getting my mom's voice out of my head telling me why everything wouldn't work. And in my thirties, I have been gradually more and more successful at everything I do.

The second method is Meditation. Changing your consciousness levels, and learning to relax your mind, rewires your brain to feel less stress and to think more positive thoughts. It improves your ability to produce beta brain waves overall, and people who produce more beta waves are not only "smarter" than others, they think more positive thoughts too.

Now, as you might expect, your Conditions of Living (C) also affect your overall Happiness. Whether you are wealthy or poor, what kind of condition your health is in, whether or not you suffer from pain, whether or not you are in a good marriage or an unhappy one, and whether or not you hate your job or have one, all do have an influence. What will surprise you is the percentage. Only 10% of your total Happiness is at all affected by these things! (C=10%)

It amazes us in the Western World that we can look at films of children in Third World slums and wonder how they can laugh and play and enjoy themselves, even with swollen bellies from malnutrition, playing in mud and sewage. Or to put it another way, people are often amazed at the fact that Erin can joke and laugh and smile when he has so many challenges facing him. Well, Conditions of Living only make up 10% of your Happiness. So change them if you can, but it really isn't that important. (This has another side to it too: those of you who think your life will instantly be perfect if you win the lottery - hah! think again! Money will not guarentee your Happiness; only YOU can do that!)

The remaining percentage, fully 40% of your Happiness, is a result of your Voluntary Choices (V=40%). So, aside from your innate perspective, the greatest bulk of your Happiness depends upon what it is that you do. What's interesting is that this works sort of like eating! You can choose to do things to make yourself happy; Retail Therapy, eating chocolate, taking a hot bath, or other simple, selfish pleasures, and they will make you happy for a while - like eating a chocolate bar will fill the hunger gap for a while. Or, you can choose to do things that either make other people happy, or that have long-reaching effects in which you are making a difference in the world, like become a parent, working for a cause you believe in, exercising your creativity, doing important scientific work, being a listening ear when your friend is going through a tough time, volunteering at a soup kitchen, or counselling, and these things will make you happy for much longer periods - like sitting down to a nutritious meal will ease hunger for several hours, if not all day.

So if you are in a job in which you feel curtailed or unfulfilled, the best thing you can do for yourself is to find a job in which you feel that what you do matters, whether that is being a stay-at-home-mom or working on the Nobel Prize. And instead of seeing problems that stop you from pursuing these dreams, see challenges that you must rise to face with courage!

Also, practice compassion whenever possible. Love others, even when they hurt you, and try to practice acceptance and understanding. Just remember that loving them can sometimes mean tough love, and so you need to set boundaries and not be an enabler for negative behaviour. On the other hand, hating others, and holding grudges, teaches them nothing and just brings you harm. Learn to let things go and practice forgiveness.

What can we learn from all this? It really is very simple: Happiness is a choice. "Your living is determined by not so much what life brings you as by the attitude that you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." (Lewis L. Dunnington). Or, as the Dalai Lama says, "What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful."

Come and join The Medium, the Witch & the Shaman for our workshop on March 19, 10 am to 1 pm, "The Keys to Happiness" to learn more!

Blessed be,

Video from Deepak Chopra's video blog at YouTube:

Using energy generated by human touch to heal is not a new concept. This technique has been present since from our earliest recorded history. From shamanism to faith healing, healing touch and chi, healing by laying on hands is a natural human talent. Like other talents, some people exhibit more natural ability at it than others, but anyone can develop their talent if they want to. Lots of people tell me that they don’t really need any training to use energy healing, and they are right. I believe anyone can do it.

Reiki is a Japanese form of energy healing that attunes the practitioner to a particular energy source through three successive initiations. As a practitioner of a few different forms of energy healing, I think that there are three elements of Reiki that make it worth pursuing for all energy healers. The first is that it connects you directly to an unlimited energy source, for which you are a conduit, and Reiki attunements just make you a more effective conduit, creating less resistance. Energy healing often creates weariness in the healer, draining life force. Reiki won’t do that. The second element is that Reiki is compatible with any other form of energy healing. The third is that the symbols and procedures you learn direct your healing energy in very specific ways.

Reiki, like other forms of energy healing, aids your body’s own innate intelligence to heal itself. Repeating sessions is of greater aid than single sessions. Come give it a try!

Blessed be,

One of the products that I make myself at the shop are crystal elixirs.  These aren't well-known or understood by people in the Okanagan Valley.  They are homeopathic/energetic remedies; pure water that contain trace elements of a crystal, similar to flower remedies.  They are made by steeping a crystal in water in sun and moonlight, somewhat like a tea.  The trace elements released into the water by the steeping crystal homeopathically and energetically treat a variety of ailments, be they spiritual, mental, emotional or physical, and can also be used to enhance natural elements of the body, mind and spirit, such as creating a tonic for improved vitality, boosting the immune system, increasing fertility, aiding the pancreas, balancing the chakras, improving mood, or even opening to channel.

Crystal elixirs are easy enough to make for yourself.  All you need is to set a crystal in pure, distilled water for half of a moon cycle to charge in the light of the sun and moon (say, from waxing to waning, or waning to waxing,) then you leave the elixir to steep in a dark place, surrounded by a crystal matrix, for the other half of the moon cycle.  You add a small amount of high-test alcohol to preserve it (I like to use brandy because it tastes better, but have also used scotch, vodka, spiced and/or overproof rum, and even Fireball whisky) to preserve it and prevent bacteria growth, and take a few drops under your tongue once or twice daily, or add it to your water.  The size of the crystal does not seem to matter; I frequently make use of broken bits of crystal at the shop that I can't sell in this way.

Many believe that it is important to program the elixir to a specific purpose while making it.  I find that if you program the elixir to enhance the natural properties of the crystal, which I do by charging it with Reiki as I add the crystal, then you can charge it to a specific purpose later.

It is hotly debated as to whether you should keep the crystal in the elixir or not.  Since I generally make a large amount at once which I later decant into smaller dropper bottles for convenience, I find that keeping the crystal present in the mother elixir and then just not including it in the dropper bottle works well for me.  I occasionally add water to the existing mother elixir without the sun and moon cycle, and I find that as long as I haven't used more than a third of the original elixir, and as long as I include Reiki empowerment when I do this, that this works just fine for me.  Every once in a while you should add more alcohol for safety.

Speaking of safety, one thing to be cautious of is toxic elements in a crystal.  Some are not advised for human consumption, even in these trace elements.  You can still make an elixir by sealing the crystal in glass within your larger glass bottle, which imprints the energetic signature of the crystal on the water without adding the toxic element.  But, be careful!  Sometimes your best efforts fail; I recently had to throw out an experiment with a sulfur elixir that I tried to make in this manner, because I could smell the sulfur in the water anyway.

At one time, I made a variety of mixtures and concoctions of a variety of crystal elixirs, focused towards a specific purpose.  I found this to be generally more time-consuming and less effective than using a single crystal elixir and charging it to your intended purpose.  For this reason you will only find a few such concoctions left at the shop.  I'll still make them for you if you request it, but again, it helps to limit them to two or three different varieties only, which dillutes the healing elements less.  Herbalistis will tell you the same thing about mixing too many herbs.

Another cautionary note is that you are likely to lose the crystal.  Many crystals are dissolved completely in water (like selenite,) many are damaged (like angelite,) and even the hardest crystals likely are etched (like quartz.)  Even if they aren't damaged, keeping them in the original mother elixir improves its potency and makes sure that it is not diminished with time.

Now, why would I make these things to sell, if they are so simple and easy to make?  Why would you buy them from someone else, instead of making them yourself?

The first reason is that the initial investment is greater than you would think.  Crystal, clear bottle, distilled water, and alcohol have to be purchased individually, along with a dropper or dropper bottle to dispense it with.  If you only need one or two elixirs, this is much more expensive than it needs to be.

The second is the time involved.  If you're going to make numerous elixirs, it requires a fair investment of time, and if you only need one, it will be a full moon cycle before you can use it, and you might require it now!

The third is convenience.  You need to store the elixirs in a dark place in a crystal matrix.  Maybe such a setup isn't possible for you where you live.  And why would you go through all the trouble of doing that, plus acquiring all the crystals, unless you intend to make lots of them?  By purchasing an elixir, it's all right there, easily accessible.

The fourth is selection.  As the owner of a metaphysical store, I have access to a variety of unusual and difficult to find crystals, or to common ones at a lesser expense, than the typical retail customer.  I have been amassing my collection now for about two and half years, and it's getting to be significant.

The fifth is expertise.  I have to know a great deal about crystals in my work; people ask me about them all the time!  Perhaps you know what the problem is that you would like to deal with, but not what would help you to heal it.  Ask me.  Or, you could consult this quick-reference remedy guide that I make and keep updated, which helps to narrow down what might be needed.  To use it effectively, find the ailment or concern that best fits what you are trying to aid or deal with, then consult the list and select the crystal elixir that resonates the most with you from that list.  If none of them resonate, try selecting a different purpose.

The sixth factor is safety.  Perhaps you are not aware of which crystals can be toxic, but I (or anyone who, presumably, sells crystals) makes a study of this.

Crystal elixirs are available online from many different retailers, and vary in pricing from a few dollars to $20 for a 10 mL bottle or more, depending on the price of the original crystal.  I view the crystal as a renewable resource, and consequently keep my pricing consistent and low (otherwise, why wouldn't you just make them yourself?)  Currently, you can acquire one of nearly 300 different elixirs for just $2.97 each at The Threads That Bind Us.

Blessed be,

With Midsummer fast approaching, I am reminded that this is the traditional time for most herb gathering.  Witches tend to believe that herbs gathered on the Summer Solstice have the most magickal power.  I am sure that the practical reason for this is that the herbs are at the fullness of their growth right now, and therefore contain the best possible combination of their healing properties.  It has been warm for long enough now that most of the plants are fully developed, but the heat and dryness has not leached those healing properties and natural juices from them.

Like anything in nature, this isn't a firm rule.  I am refering only to the majority of plants, especially anything where the leaf is the relevant part, or the flower and the flower is in full bloom.  Plants I have been gathering include sage, chamomile, rose petals, marigolds, red raspberry leaves, plantain, and most culinary herbs (like the oregano and basil I have growing in my garden.)  If the plant typically blooms earlier and it's the flower you want (like, perhaps, violets,) you will obviously have to gather the flowers at the time in which they bloom!  Some herbs, like the feverfew and the mullein, have not reached their full growth yet and so I should wait until they do.  The lavender flowers have yet to bloom, so I must wait for those, but I have gathered some leaf to use in sage bundles.  Gather fresh flowers by "deadheading" the plant before the flower is actually withered; it may make your plant look less pretty, but withered and wilted flowers have less of their herbal healing properties.

Roots, on the other hand, are best gathered in the spring and fall, when the plant has either yet to expend its energy creating big leaves and stalks, or when the plant has given up on that effort and is now concentrating on making strong roots to survive the winter.  So dandelion roots, for example, are best acquired when you can see the distinct leaves in your lawn, but before the flower blooms (which actually is a good excuse to go weeding, when you think about it.)  This is also true of plants in which you want the rhizomes (like oregon grape.)

Occasionally, certain plants get a sudden "boost" of healing properties and/or flavour when the first frost comes.  Rosehips and grapes are common examples of this, but wormwood, mugwort and mullein are also so affected (which is probably why they are associated with Crone goddesses and Samhain.)

In the case of some plants, it's the buds you want, like balm of gilead, so you must gather those when the buds are out but before they open.  And from some you want seeds, fruits or nuts; late summer to early fall is the obvious best time to find those.  Make sure you gather them before they fall from the tree to ensure a minimum of mold and rot.

Some plants you can continue to gather in the winter, like any evergreen leaf, and anything in which you want the sap (the maple tree is perhaps the most obvious, but you can also gather bits of pine sap to make incense.)  Also, many mosses and parasitic plants continue to grow throughout the year (like Irish moss, Old Man's Beard, and the famous mistletoe.)

Wood can be harvested almost any time of year, but please try to avoid it in the spring when the sap is flowing, because you may harm or even kill the tree.  Some Witches will tell you never to cut a tree, but only take any deadfall or already cut pieces.  I don't think this is entirely practical; obviously avoid harm whenever possible, but some projects require wood to be green and then dry in order to work.  Just don't destroy the tree and take the wood respectfully and with an eye to not harming the tree, and if a dead stick will do, don't take a live one.

Always gather plants at the fullness of their growth, before withering and decay has set in.  Gather plants, especially ones taken for magick, with mindfulness and purity of intent.  Do not decimate a whole sagebush to make sage bundles; this would be very disrespectful and likely offend the spirit of the plant, making it ineffective for its intention of clearing energy.  Don't rip up the whole chamomile plant if you can avoid it, just pull off some flowers.  Ask the plant's permission and whenever possible, leave an offering.  (Some people have very strong ideas of what constitutes a proper offering.  Something intended to lend a plant spiritual energy, that is not toxic to it, is generally appropriate in my opinion.  I often leave pure water, or milk and honey for the fey spirits of a tree.)  Also, do not gather plants in the rain or excessive damp because it encourages mold growth, or in the excessive heat because it withers the plant and leeches its healing properties.

Many Witches use a dedicated tool - often a white-handled knife, or white-handled knife with a curved blade - called a bolline to gather herbs. In some traditions, these knives are made entirely of wood to avoid offending a plant's faerie spirit and not harm the spiritual energy of the plant. I find that sometimes you need a metal blade to cut through things like huge mullein stalks or dig up burdock roots! But select your bolline according to your preference and consecrate it to the task of sacred harvesting. I have a larger bolline that was handmade by my friend that is shaped roughly like a small khopesh with a bear's jawbone as its hilt, and what I call my "working bolline," which is a small white-handled jackknife with a curved blade that I keep in my purse for those spontaneous wildcrafting moments.

Herbs intended to be used fresh should be used immediately.  Herbs intended for drying can be hung upside down in a place that is not directly exposed to the sun (which, again, will leech healing properties) or damp (which will cause mold.)  You can also cut them up and put them in a food dehydrator or maybe even a sun-drying rack (generally a better option for small flowers like chamomile and lavender, or fruits and their peels, which are thick and damp and usually mold and rot before drying if you just leave them to their own devices.)

Herbs intended for tinctures are actually best dried and then placed in the alcohol, because drying concentrates the active ingredients, but oil infusions are better with fresh herbs because oil has a more difficult time taking the healing properties from a plant.  Make sure you cover the plant completely with oil or alcohol to prevent mold from taking hold.  You can even freeze fresh herbs in freeaer bags and they will maintain most of their healing and flavouring properties for up to about six months.

Always store your dried herbs, tinctures, oil infusions, ointments, and so forth in a cool and dry place out of direct sunlight.  This includes your kitchen spices!  Also, replace them whenever possible each year.  They will lose their healing properties (and flavour) with each passing year.  Keep them in a closed and sealed container to prevent infestation by insects or rodents.

Last, but not least, remember that anything left on the field or in your herb garden after Samhain traditionally belongs to the Fair Folk, and I certainly would not incur their wrath by stealing their share!  So make sure all your harvesting, except what winter gathering you intend to do in wild places, is completed by then.

Happy gathering!

Blessed be,

Over the past couple of days, in preparation for our Spiritual Discussion Panel, Victoria, Lois and I have been sitting down and putting our heads together to determine what kinds of skills and experience we have to offer in the metaphysical and alternative health fields.  Truthfully it's quite an amazing list!  This morning, I took that list and updated our "Metaphysical Services" page to reflect all the services we therefore offer here at The Threads That Bind Us.  It's really quite impressive, and I would encourage you all to have a look at it to see what might be of benefit to you.

When you come for a healing session, we will have a checklist available soon so that you can indicate which services you would like to benefit from at that time, and we will recommend a practitioner based on the services you request!  In some cases, two or even three practitioners may be needed.

We have also decided universally, in order to avoid confusion, to make our services available for a standard shop rate of $60 an hour, or $1 a minute; $1.50 a minute for couples ($90 an hour,) with special consideration given to the disabled and elderly.  No matter how many practitioners are working at once, this rate will not change (ie. it will not be doubled if you want both Thai massage, offered by Victoria, and crystal healing, offered by me.) The only exception to this is Tarot parties, which are available for $100 an hour.

We are also willing to work on an exchange or barter arrangement.

Since it is no longer needed, we have deleted our "Rates and Services" page.

And while I'm chatting about website updates, please note that in order to reflect the increased art focus of our shop, we have created a page called "Art & Artists" to detail our fine artists and showcase their works.

Our first Spiritual Discussion Panel went exceptionally well and a good time was had by all!  We look forward with eagerness and joy to the next one in March.

Speaking of events, don't miss Victoria's Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) workshop this weekend at 10 am at the store!  Learn how to use a natural system of accupressure to remove anxiety, combat addictions, relieve stress, reduce or remove chronic pain, and more.  Only $30 per person.

Blessed be,

Sable

By popular demand, we are starting to gather bulk herbs for sale in our store!  You will find them in the new cabinet in the back underneath all the crystals; please ask for assistance.  Most of our herbs are grown or wildcrafted by Sable and Rowean, though some more uncommon ones are purchased from suppliers.  At the moment, our beginning collection includes:

Agrimony

Bergamot

Blackberry Leaf

Cinquefoil

Comfrey

Damiana

Elder Flowers

Fennel

Heal All / Self Heal

Hyssop

Lavender

Licorice Root

Mistletoe

Mugwort

Patchouli Leaf

Raspberry Leaf

Rose Petals

Rosehips

Rue (Organic)

Sage (Culinary)

Uva Ursi

Valerian

Verbena

Witch Hazel

Wormwood

Yarrow

More will be available soon, and if you have any special orders, just ask and we can probably get it for you.